Happiness Depends on you

He does not make me happy but I am happy. The fact that I am happy or not does not depend on him, God has granted each of us intellect and discretion to reason, interpret and decide. God made me the person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and each moment of my life. True happiness lies in being content…

By N.K.A. Ballal, Retd. Sr. Vice-President, ITDC

Two interesting and contrasting stories: After years of hard and dedicated service to his company, Rahul was being appointed at an elegant reception as the new Director. It was a small function where his wife Anita, a home-maker and some of the wives of the other persons in top management, were also present

In an adjacent room, Ann, the wife of the ceo of the company, asked Rahul’s wife a very off and unusual question: “Does you husband make you happy?”

The husband, Rahul, who at that moment not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up, slightly feeling insecure, even filling his chest lightly in pride and hope,  that his wife would not publicly lower or degrade her husband. He was sure that she would answer affirmatively as he considered himself to be a good husband.

Nevertheless, to his and others’ surprise, she simply replied, “No, no, he does not make me happy.”

The room became uncomfortably silent as if everyone were listening to the spouses’ response. There was a sudden coldness in the air. The husband was petrified, a frown appeared on his face. He could not believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him.

To the amazement of her husband and everyone else listening, Anita started explaining, No, no, he does not make me happy. But I am happy. The fact that I am happy or not does not depend on him, God has granted each of us intellect and discretion to reason, interpret and decide. God made me the person upon which my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and each moment of my life.

If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble. In my life, I have learned a couple of things. I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of experience. Circumstances like helping, understanding, accepting, listening, consoling and with my spouse I have lived and practiced this many times.

Honestly, true happiness lies in being content. There are those who say that I cannot be happy

Because I am sick

Because I have no money

Because it is too cold

Because someone stopped

loving me

Because someone did not

appreciate me

But they did not know that one can still be happy with all the problems mentioned above if only they realise that happiness is an attitude about life each of us decide. Being happy depends on us. It depends on me. I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live, I learn, I have been hurt but I am alive, I am human. I am not perfect but I am thankful.

When I take this obligation from my husband and anyone else, I free them from the guilt of carrying me on their shoulders. It makes everyone’s life much lighter. And that’s how I have had a successful marriage for so many years!

A relieved Rahul was now giving a broad smile.

The second story

A famous writer was in his study. He picked up his pen and started writing: Last year I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay in bed due to this surgery for a long time.

The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my job. The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.

My son failed in his medical exam because of a car accident. The destruction of his car was another loss. It was  such a bad year !

His wife came into the room, saw what was written on his paper and saw the lost look on her husband’s face. She left the room silently, came back with another paper and placed it on the side of her husband’s writing.

When the writer saw that paper with his name, he was curious and started to read: Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent several years in pain. I turned 60 with sound health and got retired. Now I can utilise my time to write something better with some focus and peace.

The same year,  my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone met his creator. My son’s car was destroyed, but God blessed us by keeping my son alive without any disability. This year was an immense blessing of God and it passed well.

Two beautiful interpretations  of a same situation. The writer understood what his wife was hinting at and brightened up.

Two  simple and  beautiful stories. What is the moral of these stories? If you look at life positively, one can get happiness from all situations. Life is not fair. But one has to move forward taking the positives only. Be positive, life is good. Happiness depends on you. Do you agree ?

[ananthballal@gmail.com]