Living Eulogy

‘Celebrating life while we still can’

Fleeting Thoughts By Ashvini Ranjan

Life is fragile, unpredictable and often slips away without a warning. I felt this deeply when my younger brother Kiran tragically died in a road accident. The shock was so sudden and overwhelming that even now, it feels unreal.
Kiran was a Chartered Accountant, who dedicated much of his life to serving others professionally, through individual deeds and through various service organisations. At his funeral, many people endured Bangalore’s infamous traffic just to be there and pay their respects. They shared touching stories about his kindness, his good deeds and the positive impact he had on their lives.
Their words brought comfort to our family in that dark hour. Yet, a quiet sadness lingered. Kiran, who strived to be a good family man, a true friend and above all a good human being, never got to hear those beautiful tributes about himself.
This incidence yet again reminded the meaningful thought of a “living eulogy.” A concept I have been advocating for its merits to celebrate people. Traditionally, a eulogy is delivered after someone has passed away. A reflection on their life, their achievements and their legacy.
But imagine if instead we celebrated those qualities while a person is still alive, allowing them to experience and cherish the recognition first hand. That is the heart of a living eulogy.
A living eulogy is more than just recognition. It is a celebration of a person’s life story in the present moment, where they can feel the warmth, encouragement and appreciation of those around them. The joy and fulfilment that come from hearing how deeply you have touched others cannot be overstated.
Let me share an example from the experience of a small group called Coffee Connection. A gathering of friends who meet once every fortnight over a cup of coffee. All are seniors, accomplished in their fields, yet many are unsung heroes whose stories remain largely unspoken.
The group decided that each member’s birthday would be dedicated to a living eulogy. On their birthday, friends share the many ways the person has made a difference, their character and the genuine impact they’ve had on everyone’s lives.
The results have been deeply moving. The birthday person feels truly seen expressing surprise at the goodness others have noticed, goodness they themselves might have overlooked. And for a spouse present, seeing one’s partner being honoured so sincerely adds another layer of joy and pride. This tradition now enriches the group’s social life, fostering deeper bonds and a culture of appreciation and kindness.
But a living eulogy is far more than a celebration. It acts as a powerful motivator. When people know their life’s journey will be celebrated and reflected upon while they are still here, it encourages living with purpose. It inspires making amends where needed and striving to contribute positively not just to family, but to society at large.
Thinking about being eulogised positively while alive also creates space for self-reflection and growth. It encourages living in tune with values like kindness, generosity, integrity and service.
Now imagine if more people embraced this practice. Instead of birthdays being just routine annual occasions, they could become moments to honour and celebrate one’s life and values. Every milestone birthday – be it the 60th, 70th and beyond, could serve as an opportunity for a living eulogy, one that uplifts both the person celebrated and the community around them.
This simple shift would not only add meaning to individual celebrations but could ripple through society, inspiring generosity, strengthening communal ties and encouraging purposeful living. Birthdays would move beyond mere parties to powerful reminders of what really matters.
Living eulogies can also be tied to acts of philanthropy. Birthdays can become occasions to pledge donations or volunteer efforts in honour of the person being celebrated. Instead of a conventional party, the birthday person might choose to support a cause close to their heart, creating a lasting legacy of giving and inspiring others to think along similar lines.
Embracing living eulogies calls on all of us to rethink how we appreciate and honour one another. It nurtures empathy, respect and genuine human connection.
Here in Mysuru and beyond, adopting such a practice could bring about a beautiful cultural shift. People may become more mindful of their own lives and those of others, valuing small acts of kindness and meaningful achievements daily. Communities that celebrate lives while those lives are still vibrant may soften the sting of loss at funerals, replacing some grief with ongoing gratitude.
Life is simply too short to wait for eulogies after we’re gone. Let us start celebrating and honouring each other now, while we have the chance to hear it. By marking milestone birthdays with living eulogies, we plant seeds of gratitude, motivation, generosity and purpose.
If more of us did this, more people would know the simple, profound joy of being truly loved, respected and valued in real time. And that, I believe, is a gift far greater than any cake, party or birthday song.
e-mail: ashviniranjan@yahoo.com