Will marriage as an institution survive the test of times ?

Family as a single unit is breaking up both in urban and rural areas due to the compulsion of individual profession, career-building efforts and his or her own family. This has given birth to what is now called a ‘nuclear family’ where parents are separated. In this article Prof. K.V. Satyan takes a look at the future of marriage as an Institution. —Ed

By Prof. K.V. Satyan

A child enters the world (legally) through a family. For the family to be meaningful, the marriage must hold the participants firmly. Unfortunately, family as a unit is destroyed by thoughts of urbanisation giving rise to old age homes. Increasingly modern youth have failed to carry the idea of caring for their parents with love and respect.

The family breaks apart. Besides this, some less fortunate children  grow up watching their parental squabbles over trivial issues, resulting in trauma and lack of trust in the concepts of marriage and family. They are disillusioned in marriage as a lifelong bond with commitment and decency.

People say marriages are made in heaven and well maybe they are. But the important thing is that we have to keep them intact here on earth. Marriage will give an opportunity to realise that kind of love, unconditional in nature, a love that transcends time, adverse circumstances and ego.

I want to recall what Emily Brontë has said in her famous novel, Wuthering Heights, “If all else perished and he remained I should still continue to be, and if all else remained and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.” I am sure the younger generation would love to say this but in modern times, marriage as an institution is threatened by divorce, promiscuity, sexual deviation and lack of religious conviction, opening the gates for morbid social and psychological complications.

Further, marriage is diversifying with different people entering into marriage for different reasons, often times with hidden agendas. Other factors affecting marriage are economic factors like the burden of raising a family with inadequate incomes. The lady has to pitch in to balance the adverse situations, by taking up a job.

Such societal challenges result in individualism and gender roles and obviously more focus on career advancement against family responsibilities.

It is seen that women desire to be self-sufficient regarding social or financial requirements. Some consider marriage as restrictive in nature and a road block. I want to quote, relevant to this argument, some lines from Shakespeare’s Henry The Vi, Act V Scene V :

FOR WHAT IS WEDLOCK FORCED BUT A HELL AN AGE-OLD DISCORD AND CONTINUAL STRIFE

It is however not my belief about marriage. Dating a colleague and extra marital affairs, by either of the spouses, once foreign to oriental values (considered immoral) are now being accepted as inevitable developments with societal changes.

Many will agree that marriage is a complex, multifaceted experience with emphasis on truth (loyalty) unwavering commitment as opposed to FICKLE ATTRACTIONS and so marriage has potential for both GREAT JOY AND DEEP PAIN.

Understanding marriage as a partnership and not as a competition will help. Communication and collaboration are the prime cornerstones here. How wonderfully relevant and meaningful, are the words of CHARLES DICKENS:

“Come let’s be a comfortable couple and take care of each other ! How glad we shall be, that we have some body we are always fond of, to talk to and sit with.”

At the same time, we can’t be ignorant of same sex marriages, live in relationships etc., as other realities and challenges for the success of traditional (heterosexual) marriages.

Netherlands in the year 2000, legalised Gay marriages, later some European countries followed suit. It is said that 29 out of 129 countries have legalised same sex marriage.

All over the world the attitudes and opinions have changed over the years dramatically with respect to marriage. However, traditional marriages attempt to create naturally enduring mother, father, child bonding units.

While prioritising personal goals, before getting married, youngsters should realise that Happy Marriages always come in a package with boundless friendship,  trust, respect, commitment, communication, as units of a mindset.

Marriage is not a solo performance but it is a duet where the spouse is a teammate and not a rival.