Yippee… we are number three in the world ! First is USA, second is UK and third is India. Before we get too excited, no, we are not the third biggest economy in the world but the third biggest consumers of pornography in the world.

Pornhub, the largest pornography website has released their website’s traffic statistics-2018 and it seems every minute 63,992 new visitors arrive at Pornhub, and every minute 2,07,405 videos are watched and every minute 7,708 Gigabytes of Data are transferred worldwide !

Yes, lot of people watch porn across the world. In fact, MindGeek, the company that owns pornographic websites such as Pornhub, YouPorn and others is one of the top bandwidth consuming companies in the world; they reportedly consume more bandwidth than Facebook and Amazon ! Some reports even claim Porn is a 5 billion dollar industry, that’s about 35,000 crore.

Before you run off to buy a camera and shoot a film assuming you are going to get paid while shooting your pleasure gun at a gorgeous target, please remember male porn stars are injected with drugs right into their manhood to keep them standing up in rapt attention for a loooong time! Ouch. Now that you have been warned, what do Indians like?

First, it turns out Indian women too like porn. Pornhub states that of the traffic from India, 30% was from women and 70% from men. And Indian men it seems love Bhabijis or as Pornhub statisticians call it MILFs (Mom’s I’d Like to F**K), pronounced as ‘Mil-ef’ — this is a porn category with women actors in the age group of 30 to 45. This makes us wonder why don’t these porn websites have DILFs (Dad’s I’d Like to…)

Now the most interesting search statistic is this: While Indians love their MILFs, guess what our macho neighbours to the West are searching for? Pakistanis were searching for, as mentioned by the report,  “Big di***s” aka large penises! May be ISI is searching for recruits who can pole vault across the border?

But it turns out one of the happiest countries in the world has quite a few not-so-happy women, as women from Bhutan watch more porn than the world average !

Guess, instead of going to Bangkok and paying for it, might as well go to the happiest country in the world and a make lady happy, it’ll truly be a happy ending.

But the most shocking statistic is that Syria has climbed up in porn use ranking ! Between avoiding bombs and searching for food, where are they finding time to watch sex videos? Is it because a Syrian Refugee named Suleiman became a porn star in Germany which has piqued the interest of Syrians?

Personally I love porn movie titles. They have parodies of the original movie and also its title. Some of the movie names I can recall are MyBare Lady, The Rod Father, Forest Hump, Pulp Friction and  Oceans 11 inches. The recent one being a movie starring President Trump’s former girlfriend Stormy Daniels, titled Operation Desert Stormy. Guess, if they had a Hindi porn movie and if it was a parady of Karan Johar’s movie, it would be Dildo Pagal Hai.

Just going through the visual representation of the statistics on porn usage makes one wonder if  cheap internet has led to porn invasion across the globe — a Pornvasion?

It’s mind-boggling how much Data is wasted on frivolous content on the net. But what effect does this have on our reality and more so on young minds? Is it making them more promiscuous and addictive?

We have to ask this because India Today magazine in a sextion… sorry, section, titled ‘Kids Gone Wild,’ reported that 95% of teenagers have kissed someone romantically ! And shockingly, 22% boasted of what even adults can’t — they have an active sex life and had watched porn with their partner ! Guess, after Generation X, it’s Generation Sex.

Our world is changing and with that children today are growing up fast, especially in matters of sex as access to porn and adult content has become pervasive and ubiquitous.

Sex is an awkward subject but then kids have grown up…Time we adults did too and dealt with it.

Parents have to make sure their Internet has parental lock and parents of teenagers can only sit down and have “the” talk.

Porn cannot be stopped, but we have to be wary of it because it can be addictive and affect other facets of our life. And if this happens, it’s time to head to ‘Services for Healthy Use of Technology’ (SHUT) clinic at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS) in Bengaluru. This clinic helps in all forms of digital de-addiction from Porn to Facebook.

At this point, the only people untouched by digital voyeurism or porn are probably the Senteneliese tribe and with the recent episode in Andamans they will be safe from Pornvasion for a long time to come.

P.S.: If you are wondering who are the least porn inclined in India, according to India Today survey it is Ranchi. It seems, 68% have never watched porn ! Later, we also heard that a lot of pants were on fire in Ranchi after this survey.

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