By Dr. R. Balasubramaniam

First time International travel is an eye-opening experience, especially when the first challenge you face is simply finding a place to pee. My first such experience came while transiting through Singapore several decades ago. My search for a toilet — a perfectly respectable word in my vocabulary — led to unexpected confusion.

After scanning the massive airport terminal and failing to locate anything labelled “Toilet,” I finally approached the information desk. The helpful attendant smiled and said, “Sir, you can find the restroom just around the corner.”

Restroom?

For a moment, I hesitated. A restroom, in my understanding, was surely a place where tired and privileged passengers lounged between flights, sipping on expensive coffee. Was I supposed to register for a special membership to enter? More importantly, how did this help my immediate and rather pressing need?

She must have noticed my puzzled look because she quickly added, “It’s the washroom, sir.”

Ah, so now we had moved from resting to washing. My confusion deepened. Where I came from, a washroom was a place to do laundry. Was I expected to scrub my clothes before I could relieve myself? I didn’t have time for a full load of washing!

Eventually, with growing desperation, I followed the signs. I discovered that both “Restroom” and “Washroom” were, in fact, just fancy global alternatives for my good old-fashioned “Toilet.” I stepped inside, relieved in more ways than one, but left wondering — why had the world overcomplicated something so basic?

Why not call it what it is?

Growing up, things were simple. A toilet was a toilet — no unnecessary re-branding. A bathroom was, as the name suggests, where people bathed. Somewhere along the way, different cultures decided to mix and match words, and now we have:

Restroom: No one actually rests here.

Washroom: Washing is involved, but not of the laundry kind.

Bathroom: Sometimes, there’s no bath at all.

Loo: The British version, which sounds casual but does the job.

WC (Water Closet): A term that sounds like a plumbing fixture rather than a place for human needs.

A trend that’s not slowing down

Much like how pronouns seem to evolve every few years, toilet nomenclature is also caught in a cycle of endless reinvention. Who knows what Gen Z will come up with next? “Bio-break hub”? “Fluid exchange station”? Or perhaps just an emoji to indicate where to go?

All I ask is this: let’s keep it simple. A toilet is for what it’s meant to be. A bathroom is for bathing. And if we must have a restroom, let’s at least put in some comfortable chairs to justify the name.

Until then, I’ll keep scanning airports in search of the right word, hoping I don’t mistakenly end up in a spa when all I needed was a quick pit stop.

[Dr. R. Balasubramaniam is the founder of Swami Vivekananda Youth Movement. The Lighter Side is a series of satirical articles that one hopes will evoke laughter of what many of us experience in real life.]