Gita on Relationships
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Gita on Relationships

January 29, 2026

By Dr. Devdutt Pattanaik – Author, Speaker, Illustrator, Mythologist

Krishna uses three powerful words in the Gita to understand relationships: adhyatma, adhidaivam and adhiyajnam. They appear in chapters 7 and 8, when Arjun asks how to understand the layers of existence and why humans struggle to deal with the world.

These Sanskrit words can sound exotic, especially when teachers lean into mystique, but Krishna’s intent is strikingly practical. He is explaining how to understand oneself, how to deal with others and how to navigate the constant give and take of relationships.

Adhyatma is the world within: how we imagine ourselves. It means being aware of oneself. Who am I? What frightens me? What makes me jealous or insecure?

Most people imagine they know themselves, yet live with a distorted self image. When we do not know ourselves, we fail to understand why the world responds to us the way it does. It is like a ‘guava’ imagining it is a ‘pumpkin.’ The guava cannot understand why people do not treat it like a pumpkin. The confusion is not outside; it lies within. Once the guava discovers it is a guava, the world makes sense. Self awareness gives clarity and clarity reduces suffering.

Adhidaivam is the world around us. The word devas, usually translated as gods, refers to those who have what we desire. They may have wealth, power, knowledge or attention. They shine because they possess resources we do not. But we cannot control them. They may or may not give us what we seek. This lack of control  fuels frustration.

It creates the sense that life is unfair. Yet Krishna asks us to see devas not as supernatural beings, but as people with influence, desires and insecurities of their own. They are not bound to satisfy us. They act according to their own inner stories.

This leads to adhiyajnam. Yajna is often translated as ‘sacrifice’ due to colonial translations, but its older sense is exchange. Relationships thrive on exchange. To get something, one must give something. If you want something from a deva, you must offer something that deva values. But this requires careful attention.

Suppose someone sees himself as a ‘jackfruit.’ If you offer him something that flatters his jackfruit identity, he responds warmly. But if you treat him like an ‘apple’, even if he is actually an apple, he may feel threatened because you have challenged his self image. Human beings cling to the stories they tell about themselves, even if those stories are inaccurate.

The prefix adhi in all three terms simply means pertaining to. Adhyatma pertains to the self. Adhidaivam pertains to the influential forces around us. Adhiyajnam pertains to the web of exchanges that bind the self to the world.

Through these three, Krishna outlines a practical framework for living. First, understand yourself honestly. Second, recognise the desires and illusions of others. Third, engage through thoughtful exchange, not entitlement or force.

Relationships crack when we expect others to give without giving anything in return, or when we grab what they are unwilling to offer.

Hindu thought places great importance on mutual exchange. Krishna reminds Arjun that life becomes easier when we look within, look around and participate consciously in the ongoing ritual of give and take.

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