By Suchita Sanjay, Clinical Hypnotherapist (RTT) and Mindset Coach
Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision
Fears normally arise out of the subconscious conditioning we give ourselves. It is a known fact that our subconscious wiring runs our conscious actions. It can also arise out of imagination or considering someone else’s fear as the own. Sometimes even traumatic experiences cause fears. All of what runs our actions and decisions are the way we would have been brought up or gathered out of our own experiences which is all stored in our subconscious mind. While some fears can be overcome with simple reconditioning and reset of mindset, some fears may be overcome by seeking professional help.
Sometimes we also come across small incidences in our daily life where we would have observed some elders/parents reacting when they see a child climbing up the wall and reacting: “If you climb up the wall, you will fall down. Not only that, you will break your leg and you will have profuse bleeding and you will be taken to the doctor and he will inject you.” This will definitely create enormous fear in the mind of the child because the child is already hearing and making pictures of all that is told.
The fears that are most pressing ones and that which many of them struggle with are:
1. Fear of Failure
2. Fear of Being Judged
3. Fear of Unknown
4. Fear of Being Different / Fear of Not Fitting in
5. Fear of Accepting the New
Here are a few suggestions and tips of mindset reset to overcome the same:
1. Fear of Failure has become a plague in many peoples’ lives driving them even to take extreme actions like suicide, addictions and other unhealthy habits. It can be overcome by viewing failure as a stepping stone to success. Every setback gives us a lesson to learn and we only need to identify the lesson that it has given us and progress, while making sure the mistakes are not repeated. Progress is important. Sir Winston Churchill’s quotes, “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage that counts.”
2. Fear of Being Judged can be overcome by embracing and accepting self. Be proud of being what you are. Do not bother about what others might think. Sometimes the other person may not even have thought about you or even the time to think of what you are. Unnecessarily we tend to make this a thinking pattern. This comes from social conditioning by people around you saying “What would others think of you.” When we embrace ourself for who we are and build confidence, automatically what others might think of us would shrink and fade away.
3. Fear of Unknown is also very common fear among many today. This arises mostly out of parents or elders not letting the child explore thinking that they are trying to keep the child safe. This might turn out to be a spoiler. If the focus is laid on exploring and progressing on what needs to be done then there will be a shift from fear to focus. If we also understand and embrace the simple quote from our scriptures that “change is a constant” and if we wear courage as an attire every day dealing with the change is easy. My favourite quote for this fear is, “Have Fear and Do it Anyway.”
4. Fear of Being Different is a fear which leads a person to self-isolate, struggle with low self-esteem and also hang on the element of what if they are judged. The key to this fear is to understand that everybody is different and unique and embracing the uniqueness of self will make it easier to overcome this fear.
5. Fear of Accepting the New is a fear that arises when we stick to the old. Combat this comfort zone and move over to the new comfort zone. Add new things to the routine and embrace growth mindset. This also helps in improving resilience and courage. It is said that “Growth starts happening when we step out of our comfort zones.”
I want to wrap up this article with a famous Japanese Proverb “Fear is only as Deep as the Mind Allows.”