Children and Seniors: Not always sex offenders
Columns, In Black & White

Children and Seniors: Not always sex offenders

It’s bad enough that sexual deviance has become a regular occurrence, now sex crimes are getting perverse, cruel and just unbelievable. It’s not just the severity of the crime but also the age of the perpetrators.

In the past week alone we heard two nauseating cases of sexual abuse. On November 22nd, the Hyderabad Police arrested an 85-year-old man for sexually abusing six minor girls. Then the next day the Delhi Police booked a 4-year-old for sexual assault!

In the case of the 4-year-old, was it an intentional act or just curiosity gone awry? And in the case of the senior citizen, was it a conscious act or caused by dementia? There is enough research that shows that 4-year-olds are extremely curious about all things. And there have been numerous reports suggesting that elderly citizens suffering from mild dementia tend to exhibit sexually inappropriate behaviour.

There was a case in the US where a child, a 5-year-old boy, was booked for sexual assault on a classmate. It later turned out the toddler was just curious and wanted to see “why she didn’t have what he had.” There have been cases where caretakers of senior citizens have been touched inappropriately and the senior citizen could not even comprehend what he was doing.

When it comes to children there is a real need to understand why they did it, because it is not always easy to tell the difference between natural sexual curiosity and potentially abusive behaviours.  So instead of addressing a child’s act as sexual “abuse” may be we must see it as sexually “harmful” behaviour.

When it comes to children in kindergarten, it is important for parents, teachers and judiciary to observe if the child’s act is sexual exploration that is appropriate to that developmental stage or if it’s a warning sign of future sexually harmful behaviour.

Also children for the most part watch and learn. There was another case in the UK where a child inappropriately kept touching other kids  and then thrust his pelvis into them. When the parents were called in to school to discuss the child’s behaviour, the parents confessed that the child had seen them having sex. It turned out the child was only re-enacting the physicality of sex and not trying to derive gratification from the act.  It was innocence.

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Just to lighten the mood, this reminds me of a joke. Once a couple were playing with their child in the park when they came across two dogs mating. The curious child asked the parents what the dogs were doing. The father replied, “they are making puppies son.”  Later that evening after putting their son to sleep, the parents started having sex. Suddenly the toddler woke up and asked, “Dad, Mom, what are you both doing.” The mom, who was on top of the dad, was embarrassed and replied, “we are making a baby sister for you.” The toddler replied, “Mommy can you do it like the dogs, because I want a puppy.”  Yes, kids can be curious, but they are also innocent.

While we are always shocked when infants and children are sexually abused, there is also a need to investigate and report on the sexual abuse of senior citizens in nursing homes. Now, with sexual abuse reports becoming rampant there is a need to understand and differentiate between perverse behaviour and a curious child. There is a need to properly investigate before declaring an elderly citizen a sexual predator because sometimes they may just be senile.

Power molesters and Silent women

The most dangerous predators are the powerful men. These men can hold forth the future of nations, but just can’t  hold up their zippers. Sex and power have always gone together. The latest predator being Harvey Weinstein, the Hollywood movie mogul.

Now while everyone is baying for the blood of “Harvey the pervert,” why isn’t anyone talking about the powerful women who are now coming out and claiming Harvey molested them, decades later. One can only assume that these actors were fine with Harvey molesting them as long as they got a role in movies funded by Harvey.

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Many top Hollywood actors, who were quick and vociferous to blast US President Trump for his sexist remarks, kept mum all these years while Harvey  molested them. They chose money and stardom over self-respect. While Harvey must be punished, these female stars too must be held accountable because their silence has led to Harvey molesting many young upcoming actors for decades. In Bollywood also the stars keep mum about the filth of sexual abuse in their industry, but will jump to berate a prudish man who says skimpy  clothes are inappropriate.

Speaking of Hollywood, the most popular Hollywood actor in India, the actor of Terminator movies Arnold Schwarzenegger was a ‘sperminator’ in real life. He not only impregnated his maid but is also known for groping women. In fact, he was nicknamed the “octopus” because before you knew it, his hands would be crawling all over you.

So what makes powerful men prone to sexual perversion? It is said that they fit a personality type known as “sensation seekers.” They crave intense experiences more than other people.

But the best explanation and a more acceptable explanation came from the man who turned the Oval Office into “Oral” Office, the former US President Bill Clinton. He said: “I did something for the worst possible reason — just because I could.” Yes, powerful people do it because they can and more importantly because they think they can get away with it.

e-mail: [email protected]

November 25, 2017

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